The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

The Satanic Supplement

Bulldog,n. Ugly, vicious and not over-intelligent canine. Symbolic figure with which the British nation is proud to identify itself.

Coward,n. Someone who discourteously denies the foes of his own government the blessed opportunity of dying for theirs.

Hypothetical,adj. Descriptive of any fact which supports the wrong argument.

Inherit,v.t. To profit by a relative's death in a manner other than emotional.

Justifiable,adj. Profitable.

Morale,n. The stupidity of a soldier.

Pith,n. That part of a fruit which most people ignore or throw away; hence the word also signifies the important or essential part of a message or statement.

Racism,n. The cause of racial tension in every country except this one, where racial tension is caused by excessively tolerant immigration laws.

Sulgid,adj. Resembling, in appearance, odour or consistency, a damp ditch in which something fairly unpleasant has, not especially recently, breathed its last.
Depression makes the mind quite sulgid.
Journal of Amateur Psychiatry


Weak,adj. Descriptive of the flesh of saints, as opposed to the spirit which is willing, and the brain which is tactfully omitted from mention.

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