The Satanic Supplement

Civilisation,n. The act or quality of being better than one's enemies, who are by definition uncivilised.

Euphemism,n. The terms by which we depict our own actions, omissions, intentions, wishes and biological processes.

Forethought,n. The means by which flaws in a planned enterprise may be anticipated and neutralised, unless the said flaws are so basic and fundamental to the aforementioned enterprise that their anticipation would constitute an unacceptable disincentive potential.
The boy stood on the burning duck
To keep it nice and still;
The bird profusely mourned its luck,
As burnt ducks often will.

The boy stood on the burning duck
Despite his scorching toes;
He hoped to have an egg to suck
And balance on his nose.

He waited on the burning duck,
That his wish not be foiled
For eggs above the common ruck:
Not laid, yet ready boiled.

He'd stay atop that burning duck
As long as it might take;
Yet he too was down on his luck:
'Twas no duck, but a drake.
Frabley Squimpottle

Kerzle,n. A particular form of canoodle which few know about and still fewer practise.
Even on the sacred matrimonial mattress, she clung to the superstition that a kerzle would turn her tongue blue.
Moppet Minge

Language,n. Verbal idiosyncrasy. Adoptive slang. Peripatetic argot. National code.

Man-eater,n. Animal regarded with fear and disgust by the species which invented the proverb that one is what one digests.

Olympiad,n. Series of games held for the promotion of international brotherhood, uniting all humanity in the common bond of commercial profit and mutual xenophobia.

Politics,n. Continuation of war by other means. The art of what is possible without unduly alienating those whom providence has entrusted with the care of a given politician's present reputation and future financial security.

Statesmanship,n. Imitation of the mob's idea of greatness, as performed by the imitation of a human being.

Umbilical Cord,n. The fast-food straw through which we are held and cossetted through the first forty weeks of our existence. After eviction from the womb, the maternal apron strings and the televisual placenta are often considered adequate substitutes.

Voluntary,adj. A guideline which specifies that a commercial organisation shall not engage in profiteering by nefarious means, except where it suits the organisation's purposes to do so.