Hearts and Minds

Members of the Royal Air Force, the administrator of short sharp shocks to uncivilised tribes, our stalwart defender during the dark days of 1940 and hired guild of airborne assassins in the present crusade for enlightened values, have been ordered not to wear their uniforms in public because civilians near the aptly-named RAF Wittering have used words against them. It is possible that, in their spare time, the civilians do outstanding jobs under difficult circumstances, but this does not appear to have concerned participants in the predictable outpouring of indignation and treacle from the paragons of public service at Westminster. "All our armed forces should be able to, and encouraged to, wear their uniform in public," fulminated the Glorious Successor, "and have the respect and gratitude of the British people for the huge commitment to public service they show". As usual when dealing with British rather than debased values, the Glorious Successor has difficulty separating the concept of public service from the habit of doing as one is ordered.

The Conservative MP for the district, Stewart Jackson, said: "The police don't have records of any serious problems. My understanding is that it's a small number of incidents of verbal abuse." Unfortunately, he does not appear to have said it to any members of the shadow cabinet. "We cannot have our armed forces personnel intimidated for wearing the uniform they are so rightly proud of," blathered the shadow Minister for War and the Colonies, Liam Fox. "I think that the majority of our public would be appalled to hear that there are no-go areas for our armed forces, even in their own country." No-go areas? Perhaps the honourable member is confusing our armed forces with Christians, the white working classes, or some other oppressed minority. Anyway, the part of Des Browne that concerns itself with military matters is investigating the problem "as a matter of urgency", since it is, after all, a matter of public relations rather than legality or vital equipment. "A government review of the public's perception of the military is being carried out. It has been suggested as part of the review that soldiers may be encouraged to wear their uniforms off-duty to boost their popularity", the sight of a uniform being sufficient in itself to blast open the pleasure centres of those who carry out government reviews.