The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, May 19, 2008

A Richer Dust Congealed

A report by Quentin Davies, who defected from Daveybloke's Cuddly Conservatives because they weren't right-wing enough and who might now be forgiven for emulating Winston Churchill's famous attachment to party loyalty and crawling back home again, recommends the "creation of a new public holiday in June" to celebrate war, and the implementation of a new law to make it a criminal offence to discriminate against peaceful, defenceless people in military uniform. Well, really. If this kind of thing goes on we won't be able to discriminate against anyone at all, apart from Muslims, gypsies, asylum seekers, welfare benefit claimants, single mothers and people with no children - and where's the fun in that? They're all armed to the teeth.

The head of the army, General Sir Richard Dannatt, has blamed "a lack of public appreciation" for sapping the will of the troops. They don't mind the heat, the terrain, or the bombs and bullets of the insurgents or our friendly-firing ally; but they crumple before a lack of appreciation. Hence, the Minister for Supporting Our Boys, Bob Ainsworth, said that the report would "ensure that the work of our armed forces is better understood and recognised by the nation they serve", presumably because having a bank holiday named after one's profession is a lot more fun than having proper equipment, reasonable housing or sufficient pay to feed oneself while being shot at.

The report also recommends that the armed forces be permitted to turn state schools into recruiting stations and give guns and authority to those bullies who can shout loudest. This will certainly help. If there's one thing the armed forces need, it's a few more recruits who joined up to see the world, and realised just too late that they might be required to blow some of it up. It is not clear whether pupils at faith schools, let alone Muslim faith schools, will be compelled to join this particular band of brothers.

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