The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, January 23, 2009

A Dim Noise

The London Haystack has been scouting out the proposed site for Cloud Boris Land, the new London airport which, under the forthcoming Daveybloke administration, will either complement or replace the sixth or seventh runway and/or terminal at Heathrow, depending which way the wind is blowing and what directorships are on offer at the time. The London Haystack has been reluctantly convinced that any birds in the vicinity of the new airport will thrive, because the airport will be a product of free market economics, under which all things thrive that are desirable. The London Haystack is of course well aware of the desirability of birds, particularly in close and intimate proximity to jet engines. The London Haystack's researches have led him to the conclusion that the new airport will be "absolutely fantastic" from whatever environmental points of view can be encompassed by the intellectual vision of the London Haystack: "It really isn't an issue," he wrote during an in-depth debate on Twitter. The London Haystack also addressed fears of noise pollution, admitting that people might be able to detect a "dim noise from planes taking off". The London Haystack apparently considered this the most difficult issue about the new airport, perhaps because of the impact on house prices.

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