The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Saint George, Thou Shouldst Be Living At This Hour

The head of a corrupt, authoritarian and thuggish government has been snubbed by his Pakistani counterpart over the latest Terror Apocalypse That Wasn't. The Glorious Successor proclaimed that the security forces had foiled a "very big plot" by arresting eleven Pakistanis and one person whom the British National Party would presumably consider chromatographically alien. All twelve men were released without charge after two weeks - half the time permitted for confessions to be beaten out of terrorism suspects - and nine of them were promptly deported, apparently for nothing worse than being inexpediently non-chargeable.

The Glorious Successor stated that he thinks "we have got to recognise that we have both got problems that are affecting both the security of our citizens and the sentiments in our country, with terrorist plots that have been planned and some people are trying to execute", and that "we want to work together with Pakistan to deal with these issues and to tackle terrorism at its roots": a statement of sixty-one words having precisely nothing to do with the arrest of a dozen innocent men, which Britain's leading liberal newspaper reports as a defence of the arrests. Gordon also reiterated tactfully that "three-quarters of Islamic terror threats originate in the border region between Afghanistan and Pakistan"; in other words, between a country of which Britain is co-occupier in the name of democracy and universal human values, and a country to which Britain sells weapons in the name of regional peace and ethical profiteering.

The Pakistani deputy high commissioner has complained about British "slurs" that his country is a hotbed of terrorism; an understandable reaction, given that the terror hotbed alert level in Britain is routinely cranked up to Severe: Hysterical whenever bad news needs burying. The Pakistani authorities have also complained that the British did not deign to consult them properly, and that greater co-operation would have prevented "embarrassing mistakes"; always assuming, a little optimistically in my view, that a government which contains Agent Smith, James Purnell, Harriet Harman and a brace of Milibands could be capable of so refined and civilised a reflex as embarrassment.

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