The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

President Tony and His Chums

The Upper Miliband has been pushing his application for a new job: that of European High Representative for Foreign Affairs, which he evidently hopes to take over when his chum, the ascended incarnation of the Vicar of Downing Street, takes his throne of Power as president of the Union. The Upper Miliband stated that he was "not available" for the post, doubtless owing to the anticipated brilliance of New New Labour's performance at the next general election; and he also said, "I have got a job that I am absolutely committed to and proud to do"; which, in the context of modern politics, amounts more or less to a commitment to clear his desk the moment Tony says it's all right.

The Upper Miliband observed that Europe needs a "strong figure" as president, someone fresh from bringing peace to the Middle East who is "able persuasively to advocate the case that is decided by the 27 member states of the EU" - in short, a strong figure who will do as he's told by twenty-six foreign governments as well as by the Daveybloke administration on the mainland. Well, this certainly sounds like Tony. Failing that, the consequences will be dire: "we will find the world run by America and China without any reference to us". Tony's record of firm independence in dealing with the United States is of course known to one and all. The Upper Miliband also noted that, once Tony is president, he would like the traffic to stop wherever he goes; undoubtedly, with Cherie in tow (and perhaps even Gordon, if the old comedy partnership can be resurrected), stopping traffic will hardly be a problem.

The Upper Miliband also professed puzzlement at Conservative opposition to the Reverend's candidacy. This is surely a little naïve. Daveybloke's cuddlies do not want Blair as president because they would prefer Michal Kaminski or a member of the Latvian Waffen-SS supporters' club; the Conservative old guard do not want Blair as president because he reminds them too much of Daveybloke. Besides, quite apart from Blair's election victories, the Conservatives hate him because he has implemented so much war, privatisation, business deregulation, political corruption and police thuggery, and thereby discredited so many treasured Conservative policies.

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