The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, April 26, 2010

A Very Small Leaflet

Labour's election propaganda has duly arrived; and it is, as one might expect given all they've got to boast about, the smallest portion so far. It is the size of a compliment slip, smaller even than UKIP's A5 flyer, let alone the Lib Dems' folded A4 sheet and the Conservatives' fake newsletter. It appears to have been dropped through the door after an attempt at face-to-face canvassing, since it is inscribed "Philip - sorry I missed you". Oh, well.

As on her website, Alison Moore's solution to the problem of defending New Labour's record in office is simply to avoid mention of it. If one wishes to visit the alternative planet where Labour has been fighting for justice, helping poor people, greening the economy and bombing only the unrighteous for the last decade or so, one can always read their manifesto; but for all one can gather from the leaflet, the election on 6 May will be purely a local affair. There is a pledge to "work for a sustainable environment", although it is not clear whether this will entail supporting or opposing the Glorious Successor's plans for cuddly coal, sustainable uranium and indefinitely expandable airports; but aside from this, not a single national issue is mentioned - not war, not constitutional reform, not torture, not faith schools, not the economy, not transport, not Europe, not immigration, not child imprisonment, not the City and its little games, not the database state, not even Tony's chum Rupert Murdoch. The website says something about being proud of the NHS, which means precisely nothing: Daveybloke and his Cuddly Coulson will happily emulate New Labour and throw in a bit of NHS with their immigrant-bashing and dead-child-waving as long as they imagine it will gain their party votes; though I suppose the absence of the usual tripe about savage cuts that won't affect frontline services is something to be grateful for. The slogan on the leaflet is "Putting local people first", and the promises are to defend our local hospitals and police teams, support our children and families and fight for a fair deal for our older people - as opposed, presumably, to defending, supporting and fighting for those in Hendon or Chipping Barnet or Islington North or even, perish the thought, sticking up for the interests of that miserable gang of warmongers, incompetents, nonentities and common criminals in Whitehall.

8 Comments:

  • At 3:17 am , Blogger phil said...

    I thought the local people would come first and those unfortunate enough to live in the next shire/ borough/ward etc would come second.

    It stands to reason, dunnit?

     
  • At 9:31 am , Blogger Philip said...

    The trouble is that everyone else is promising that as well, and everyone else so far has also managed to discern that the significance of this particular election goes a bit beyond the boundaries of one constituency, or even the next constituency.

     
  • At 10:24 am , Blogger Paul said...

    It is good to hear that those old people in other constituencies won't be put first. Let them wait. Bastards.

     
  • At 12:17 pm , Blogger phil said...

    Oh, you mean the EU.

    (*runs away*)

    WV which must be shared=phonetu. Shakespeare for non-English speakers.

     
  • At 2:09 pm , Anonymous darjeeling junkie said...

    Hang on a minute-MP's are supposed to represent their constituents-surely you aren't in favour of the MP for Southampton Itchen(say) objecting to Southampton being ranked next to Nottingham in terms of deprivation(for instance),and receiving extra Government money because of the level of deprivation.
    I can't think why John Denham(for instance)would object to his own constituency receiving extra money unless he was in some way embarrassed by the level of deprivation in his constituency.
    Sorry for the mangled syntax.As you may have guessed,I live in Southampton.Parts of the city are quite deprived-what is the point of an MP who won't speak up for the people of this place when it conflicts with his duty to the Government's nonstop PR drive?

     
  • At 2:34 pm , Anonymous darjeeling junkie said...

    On reflection,yes,those LOCALS FIRST!
    leaflets are sick-making.But they all do it.(maybe not the greens).Even Denham.I have a Lederal Dillocrat leaflet in front of me now.It seems a 'David Callaghan' went to school in Southampton.Wow! I think I'll vote for him just because of that.
    But wait! WTF is a 'David Callaghan' anyway?

     
  • At 2:38 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    MP's are supposed to represent their constituents

    Which is why promising to defend our services, old people, children etc. in some undefined fashion is the worst of both worlds, since it combines the utterly meaningless with the bleeding obvious.

    what is the point of an MP who won't speak up for the people of this place when it conflicts with his duty to the Government's nonstop PR drive?

    No point at all. Hence the wish for some hint that the local Labour candidate has some vague concern with Labour's national policies (aka PR drive), said policies being at least vaguely relevant to the general, i.e. national, election.

     
  • At 3:12 pm , Anonymous darjeeling junkie said...

    The PR drive is one of the national policies.Some of the others result in the deprivation.It has a neat,conflicting,circularity to it.
    Maybe not so conflicting.

    since it combines the utterly meaningless with the bleeding obvious.
    And it would be utterly dishonest also,if said promises were not left,as you note,undefined.
    Philip,I don't know if I'm making much sense to you at the moment-sometimes I start hitting the keyboard without engaging the brain-it's not that I think the 'local' and 'national' somehow exist in alternate dimensions.

     

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