The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, March 09, 2013

Relationship Problems

Great Britain is one and united,
And such it has been since year Dot.
To dance with the wogs we're delighted;
To marry them, certainly not.

Sometimes we will happily enter,
And sometimes we'll sulk and be grim.
Sometimes we are right at the centre,
And sometimes we're left on the rim.

One day with the French we'll be playing;
The next, with the Germans we're mates.
But mostly we're yapping and spraying,
And making cow eyes at the States.

With glories of Empire we're rampant
And ever upon the attack:
Our ardour shall never be dampened,
Nor yet our tumescence grow slack.

With British endeavour unceasing,
We've brought off the neatest of tricks:
Inventing a form of prick-teasing
Where teasing is done by the pricks.

To the Hun we shall never be cleaving,
Nor jump into bed with the Frogs;
But still we're not sure we'll be leaving
With nowhere to go but the dogs.

Dave Kipperniggles

2 Comments:

  • At 6:15 pm , Blogger J Sewell McEvoy said...

    "Inventing a form of prick-teasing
    Where teasing is done by the pricks."

    First rate.

     
  • At 9:16 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Thanks. As a matter of fact, those were the first two lines that occurred to me.

     

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