The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Ariel Sharon Dies

World's only non-racist Jewish state mourns founding father

Controversial Israeli warrior-king Ariel Sharon has died after eight years in a coma without claiming benefits in the UK, prompting British prime minister David Cameron to pay him a glowing tribute.

Sharon was one of the last survivors among those who fought in Israel's war of independence, and could thus be said to be as much a father of his nation as Bismarck, Nasser or P W Botha.

Though frequently controversial, he retained the respect of statesmen such as George W Bush and Tony Blair. He managed to avoid the anti-capitalist megalomania which disfigured the career of the evil Venezuelan pineapple god Hugo Chávez, and shunned the brand of terrorism for which the British Conservative Party recently forgave Nelson Mandela.

Among Sharon's more controversial actions was the evacuation of settlers from Gaza, which gained him the opprobrium of the Israeli right for shifting the nation's gangster status from the batshit to the merely brutal.

While Sharon will be reviled in the Arab world as the victor of Qibya and Sabra and Shatila, more nuanced commentators are giving due credit to his political flexibility while recalling his human virtues as raconteur and trencherman.

He is survived by several Palestinians and some of Lebanon.

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