Gove's Cunning Plan

Well, here's a thing: it seems that, contrary to what was originally believed, Michael Gove's recent Daily Mail barrage was actually intended as a coded stab in the back to a Cabinet colleague and not as a broadside against Kraut-loving left-wing historians like Alan Clark after all. As anyone might have guessed whose mind could encompass the subtleties of the Gove intellect, the real target of the attack was the Department for Cultchah, Murdoch and Batting Collapses, which supposedly intended to whitewash the role of the Australia and New Zealand Army Corps in favour of commemorating a lot of Indians, Caribbeans and Africans. A spokesbeing for Britain's Head Boy has duly been extruded to assure all and sundry that memory of the wogs will be kept in its place. Speaking with understandable anonymity to the scumbag press, one Gove apparatchik stated that the Cultchah Minister, Maria "Show us yer price tag" Miller, was "way out of her depth". Of course, to fans like myself this is scarcely news: Maria Miller would be out of her depth in a toddler's paddling pool during an August hosepipe ban. By contrast, the profundities of Gove and his minions are so measureless as to be virtually undetectable.