Airy Dismissal

Britain's Head Boy and the London Haystack have been bringing some much-needed perspective to the population's whimsical wish for clean air. As one would expect, the perspective they brought was that pollution, like poverty and wog-bombing, is nothing much to worry about; certainly not compared with the European Union, which has been trying for years to induce the British government to honour its environmental obligations. Smog is a naturally-occurring weather phenomenon, burbled Britain's Head Boy. The air is perfectly fine, blathered the London Haystack. Meanwhile, the Deputy Conservative doormat at the Department of Energy acknowledged the role of air pollution from transport and claimed to be suffering along with the proles; this seemed to him reason enough to go green, although it is not entirely clear how the coalition's idea of going green (viz. shale-fracking and sustainable uranium) is intended to help matters. Pollution, it appears, is due almost entirely to immigrant dust particles from Africa, although doubtless the last Labour government and the badgers come into it somewhere as well. Fortunately, the people affected are mostly those insignificant types who have no spare house in the country.