The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Blathering for Britain

It isn't all about the fiend Salmond, you know. The Caudillo of the Farage Falange, who never saw a bandwagon he wouldn't try to steer, has leapt aboard the Scottish independence debate with his usual hob-nailed, gibbering charm. In defence of traditional British values, such as the political neutrality of the monarch, the Caudillo recommended that the monarch should abolish her political neutrality and tell the uppity Scots where not to get off. Still, the Caudillo did not neglect to push his Falange's favourite button, namely "but what about me?" The sudden and doubtless temporary enthusiasm of the British Neoliberal Party's two and a bit main branches for Devo Something-or-other has fired the Caudillo's ever-glowing indignation, and it appears that the Farage Falange will now be campaigning for a federal England in addition to a politically committed monarch. The Caudillo also wished "to make an argument that nobody else has made in this campaign, that this referendum is not about independence." As so often with the Caudillo's pronunciamenti, the reason why nobody else has made the argument will be apparent to almost everybody outside the country's various institutions for the mentally incapacitated, such as the Farage Falange.

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