No More Mr Nice Guy

I am sure we all note with due sympathy the difficulties of those deserving people at Serco, which has issued a fourth profit warning this year and has lost a third of the value of its shares. The picture might have been even bleaker, were it not for such life-saving economies as running concentration camps for the Keep Australia White party and defrauding the British taxpayer by tagging non-existent criminals. Serco's chief executive, a descendant of the well-known law-and-order enthusiast Winston Churchill, has advocated a "more cautious view" of the next year or so; in Standard English, this means that Serco will be asking its shareholders for a £550 million subsidy until it's safe for Westminster to slip the company a few more contracts. In addition, no doubt, there will be targeted and proportionate cutbacks in the various little luxuries which Serco is wont to bestow upon the refugees, poor people and other prison merchandise in which it deals.