The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

White Christmas - Millions Panic

Fury at meteorological horror

Terror stalked the nation as the Met Office warned that parts of England could expect a white Christmas season.

In a hideous anomaly for the winter months, freezing temperatures, snow and cold weather are expected in late December.

Unusually for December in Northern Ireland, England and Wales, rain and sleet are also expected, interfering with shopping and prompting speculation that the End Times are upon us.

The Met Office also expects an 80% probability of increased efficiency savings among expendable patients and disruption to the tattered remnants of services.

A silver lining is expected to lighten the clouds of the prospective national emergency, however, as the results will likely contribute to official propaganda for the next round of cuts and privatisation.

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