No Whispering in Big School

Britain's Head Boy has been doing the modernising thingy again. The last thing he tried to modernise, of course, was the Conservative Party, whose collective soul now occupies itself in hopping between the Regency and the nineteen-thirties, with here and there a quick sojourn to the trenches in order to suck a bit more life out of the Unknown Soldier. In keeping with this achievement, Britain's Head Boy has decreed a Second War on Terror, whereby democracy and free speech will be protected by cramming them back into the New Labour ball-gag and straitjacket, and in which the internet shall be reduced to the sort of mass communications medium that might be best suited to North Korea, should that unfortunate realm ever happen to suffer the indignity of being ruled by Andy Coulson. Various mere experts have lined up to dispense the kind of hurtful epithets which have previously done so much for the credibility of Twizzler Lansley, Michael Gove and the brilliant Duncan Smith; but of course we are a mere few months from a general election, so Britain's Head Boy has most likely been advised to gather the headlines while he may. It would certainly be unfair to suggest that he wishes to protect our freedoms by removing our freedoms merely because he is worried about his 2010 promises being bandied about the internet with intent to cause satire.