Chuka and Hezza

Yet further indications of the precise extent of Labour's leftward lurch under the Milibeing have emerged in the revelation that the shadow Minister for Profiteering, Chuka Umunna, has been quietly sucking up to the former President of the Board of Trade, Deputy Prime Minister, First Secretary of State and Lord High Everything Else, Michael Heseltine. "Just because he is a Tory should not stand in the way of us working with him in the future and I very much hope to do that," gabbled Umunna commalessly. It appears that Labour hopes to revive the "big tent" approach which worked so well for the Reverend Blair, always provided that the tent's extensions were never to the left. "Michael was a visionary, there’s no doubt about that and he fought battles with the right of his party like Michael Portillo against active government and I believe in active government, which is different from intervention," gushed Umunna with pre-orgasmic near-commalessness. Active government is different from intervention in that it means "working in partnership with the private sector", which is no doubt different from privatisation, although not so different that Michael Heseltine, Vince Cable, Peter Mandelson and Chuka Umunna can't be intensely relaxed about it.