President Piccaninny

As Zac Goldsmith's mayoral campaign has demonstrated, a good working definition of racist is a Tory with no economy to stand on; and the London Haystack has now demonstrated it further with a characteristic display of statesmanship. President Obama has had the temerity to vent an opinion which is not that of the London Haystack, and which diverges even from the opinions of Michael Gove, Chris Graybeing, the brilliant Iain Duncan Smith and the Farage Falange - all the brainy ones in British politics. The London Haystack therefore considered it his duty to put the uppity wog in his place, and duly batted out a blather for the scumbag press calling attention to the president's Kenyan ancestry and resulting "ancestral dislike of the British empire". The British empire was of course a far more efficient, compact and democratic entity than the EU, and Obama's dislike of the empire is of course entirely unshared by most Americans, whose nation has been Britain's greatest-ever ally since 1776. The London Haystack has been regrettably unforthcoming on what his own Ottoman Turkish ancestry has done for his attitude to democracy, human rights, ethnic and religious minorities or a free and responsible Press.