The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, October 03, 2016

Dusky Dormice

As usual, despite our fast-approaching Independence Day from dangerous fripperies like human rights and First World living standards, Britain's identity is under threat from dusky-hued invaders. A black dormouse has been discovered in Somerset, having apparently decided that the name of the Blackdown Hills gave it some right of residence. It is as yet unclear whether the creature is some hideous mutation of the native dormouse, or an invader from Germany which doesn't know who won the war. Undoubtedly Britain's dormice are not what they were; populations have been in decline because of changes in the way farms and woodlands are managed, and because the Tory shires nowadays increasingly tend to produce the wrong kind of nuts.

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