Strong Signals, Leading Roles, Blah Fishcakes

Britain has continued its leadership in the battle against climate change by extruding a jumped-up journalist to ratify the pitifully inadequate Paris agreement; Britain's leading role having been preceded in this case by only one hundred and ten non-forefront nations. The Imperial Haystack consistently broke legally binding environmental laws when he was playing at being mayor of London, so it seems unlikely that the voluntary guidelines in the Paris accord will trouble him over-much. Nick Hurd, the Minister for Being the Son of Another Minister, said that he hoped the UK's ratification would send a strong signal, rather than actually leading to anything beyond the Government's planned measures of prole-fracking and blanched radioactive pachyderms.