The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Wogs in Space

Well, thank goodness we've opted ourselves out of this insidious scheme. The ghastly Euro-wogs and the Heathen Chinee are plotting to collaborate in constructing a base on the moon; a plot which might well be sold as an international endeavour despite failing to include the United States and the New Global Imperium of England, Wales, Gibraltar and the Falkland Islands. The Heathen Chinee have been excluded from the International Space Station because of American concerns over their space programme's military connections; never having done anything remotely military before, NASA apparently felt it would be at an undue disadvantage. Now that the flat-earthers have taken over Washington, it remains to be seen how the free world will react to bits of the moon being made foreign in front of its eyes. Thanks to their famously practical and non-ideological temperament, the British are likely to find a certain amusement in the clumsiness of the enterprise: apparently the project is to involve mere experts, and even scientists, and years upon years of effort, research and investment. This is of course far inferior to the pluckily buccaneering British method: namely to sulk, threaten and offend until the moon is shamed into fulfilling its moral obligation to accommodate our every whim.

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