Britain's Got Bottle

Some people are never satisfied. Even after the proud and noble sight of Tin-Pot Tessie holding hands with the Trumpster; even with the Conservatives' dream of a frackers' free-for-all with no red tape to choke the methane from our water-pipes; even now that the Department of the Environment has been passed from the gormless Andrea Leadsom to the jabbering homunculus that is Michael Gove, there are still those who complain that Britain's leadership as regards green crap is in some sort of peril. Thanks to decades of entrepreneurial buccaneering, there is a growing shortage of drinkable water; this has led to an explosion in the market for bottled water, and hence for plastic bottles. Strange as it may seem, not all of these empty, transparent, brittle and environmentally-unfriendly vessels turn into right-wing politicians; the less lucky are disposed of in landfills and the sea, where their components can enter the food chain and contribute to the growing shortage of drinkable water. The Euro-wogs seem to be under the dual misconception (a) that this natural and beautiful process will affect people who matter, rather than the kind of expendables who live in places like Grenfell Tower; and (b) that the problem can be solved by telling corporations what to do. Britain, as always, has a much better idea but won't tell anybody what it is; and even after David Davis' recent victories at the Brexit negotiations, there are still some citizens of nowhere for whom that isn't good enough.