Fiendish Foreign Plots

Like krieg-blitzing stormtroopers sneaking around the Maginot Line, the fiendish Euro-wogs continue their gratuitous and self-destructive attacks on the Recrudescent Imperium of Westminster, Gibraltar and the Falkland Islands. Rather than muddling through in buccaneering entrepreneurship, the Euro-wogs have the gall to be making plans for all sorts of contingencies, including the rather unlikely one of Britain's newly-sovereign lords and masters having a sudden attack of political maturity. The Empire itself, of course, has managed very well without such disreputable foreign tactics ever since the Bullingdon Club pushed through its exercise in party management without troubling to allow for its going wrong: an approach which has previously entertained the world with such glories of Britishness as the Iraq adventure, Operation Market Garden and the last rah-rah of Captain Scott. As a diplomat from "a country close to the UK" pointed out, the UK's cockroach infestation will most likely be solved when the economy collapses again: since the EU's economic health is now improving, all those nasty plumbers and nurses will either stay in their native lands or migrate to countries where the environment is less hostile than in our free, open, tolerant, Saudi-serving, Trumpster-licking mother of democracies.