The Unspeakable Pursued by the Unelectable

As one would expect, the dead-eyed warden of HM Prison UK has been quick to learn the all-important lesson from Thursday's little mishap: namely that she was right all along. Besides seeking the magic bigot tree across the water, Tin-Pot Tessie proposes decisive action to regulate those extremist, pornographic social media which did so much to subvert the forthright mega-decibel sanity of ordinary newspaper barons. As noted by Mr Justice Stapley, in terms of its rationality, feasibility and general avoidance of pedal auto-fusillade this whole idea is more or less standard quality for the modern Conservative and Unionist Party. It remains to be seen whether the blithering prima donna David Davis, who resigned from the late Head Boy's shadow cabinet and forced a vanity by-election ostensibly over civil liberties, will regard the move as his cue to sharpen a knife for that area of Tessie's rear portions which isn't shielded by the Kick Me sign.