He Was One of the Good Guys All Along

Once more, the crying shame of the late coalition has been exposed: namely, that sensible, principled Liberal Democrats like the former Minister for Mates' Rates were never permitted to hold ministerial office. While haplessly ensconced in the non-Cabinet role of business secretary, the present leader-by-default of the Deputy Conservatives allegedly witnessed Tin-Pot Tessie suppressing up to nine different studies which found that immigration does not have a negative impact on jobs or wages. Instead, underemployment and wage suppression were shown to result from other factors, such as the economic policies concocted by the Conservatives and their little orange helpers; but of course the former Minister for Mates' Rates was entirely shut out of all policy decisions, given his purely decorative and ceremonial function as business secretary. It is certainly to be regretted that, for all the nobility of Nick Clegg and the gravitas of Danny Alexander, the coalition was so lacking in those far-seeing, statesmanlike qualities for which Vince Cable was knighted by the Bullingdon Club.